06.05.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 8:03 am by thedarkvanilla
1 - Have you ever been asked out?
yup bt never went..huhu..i don’t date
2 - Where was your default picture taken?
Marrybrown- Central Market
3 - What’s your middle name?
I don’t own one..own..sat2 Binti..hak3
6 - What is your current mood?
plain…
7 - What color underwear are you wearing?
thats 4 me 2 know…and i’m sure u know what comes next…make it a negative sentence though.
8 - What color shirt are you wearing?
i’m only werin’ black until they invent smthing darker..haha
9 - Missing something?
those hectic campus live..haha..cn’t believe it
10 - If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
if i didn’t do those mistakes i wouldn’t be where i am today, n though i do have regrets, i believe tht things happened exactly the way they’re suppose to, we can only try our best.wink2.next
11 - If you must be an animal for one day,
dn’t wnt..but pingu are cute..huhu
12 - Ever had a near death experience?
at least i thout so, life is so fragile…
13 - Something you do a lot?
tinkin’ kot
14 - The song stuck in your head?
LOve Story- Tylor Swift
15 - Who did you copy and paste this from?
Kak Astrie
16 - Name someone with the same birthday as you?
chad Michale murry..haha..eyh jab..that super man guy in smallville jugak kot..tah ar..kah3
17 - When was the last time you cried?
urgh..
18 - Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
never thouht i would but this one time 4 my degree induction program..bt i did it totally for the sake of the group..boy was I nervous.haha..i prefer presentation instead=)
19 - If you could have one super power what would it be?
ugh..flying..coz i can’t drive..so i cn show off wth the places i go to..haha..invincible?…ch
arming power…owh..genius..damn this is why i cn’t hav superpower..greed..ceh..i’m flawed
20 - What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
haha…yr views is the window to yr soul. talk to me..i won’t judge..but i will evaluate.wink2.( common man..everybody notice the look first, ru kidding me?)haha
21 - What do you usually order from Starbucks?
won’t afford it tht much to go for usual=p
22 - What’s your biggest secret?
urgh..why on earth would i tell u..well i’m gay..( hey everybody knws tht)..of course I was jst fooling around.haha
23 - Favorite color?
when i was a lil= Yellow now, black n dark green
24 - Do you still watch kiddie shows or TV?
ape yang penting?..kerjasame..haha..ciap hafal lagu theme song sponge bob lg..haha
25 - What’s on your walls?
huh?..my views
26 - What are you?
Hamba Allah=) I am God’s humble servant.
27 - Do you speak any other language?
Malay, English..i did took up France n Mandrin n currently Japanese..bt i’m not gonna lie..i’m far from fluent..haha.
28 - What’s your favorite smell?
udara pagi..schweet smell of my mother..haha
29 - Describe your life in one word?
Pragmatic..haha
30 - Have you ever kissed in the rain.
dance..yes..kiss no..
31 - What are you thinking about right now?
answering these questions
33 - What should you be doing?
let just say…A LOT
34 - Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
adek kot..sat jur sye mad pastu da lupe da..haha
35 - How often do you talk to God?
if smthing is closer than every breath u take…how often do u think? ;p hurm…
36 - Do you like working in the yard?
go to the yard..go to the yard!!!!
37 - If you could have any last name in the world,
i would still keep my current one..huhu..grateful enough
38 - Do you act differently around the person you like?
alah..who don’t?..bullshit!..i treat people the way they are..not the way i am=) i’m extremely good with girls bt can be terribly harsh around guyz…n i hav been associated to being heartless…anything else?
39 - What is your natural hair color?
my fav color..black
40 - Who was the last person to make you cry?
siape ker masalah ape?…haha..i prefer laughing=)
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03.27.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 1:12 pm by thedarkvanilla
please don’t miss read me,
i was just missing you,
let alone your shadow,
those breath of air you used to bring,
the beautiful smiles which greets me,
and the soft welcoming voice,
are no longer heard.
please understand me when i say,
i’m on such distinct road,
we used to be there,
and with time, have we left our care,
i’m missing you,
and all those happiness you’ve brought me.
can i not touch your lovely hand,
or feels its warmth flowing through mine,
and those kisses which indicates care,
you have always been there,
can time ever erase?,
it’s not gonna be the same now,
have i let you go?……
here’s a good bye, just so you know,
i’ve been missing you, honestly.
(in loving memory of Dungun’s friends=))
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03.25.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 6:38 am by thedarkvanilla
been a while..another new statement. gender confusion…it seem as if a lot of people have this problem, am i not included?…i like to think i had it also. hahaha…not that i’m serious. don’t know why i like to make such unrelevant and redicoulus statement. need i use a coordinate conjunction there?…i think one adjective might have been enough. and why im i using passive voice now. stop it now almas. darn.. i can’t help it. ” i mean what i say, and i say what i mean”…i made this statement to azied…haha the so called bro in my class. but sometime i said some word just as a cover up, so that i don’t get trap by the situation, by means you can only explain too much of yourself, not everyone can take you to a certain extent. but i am far from lying. i cannot lie by the way, i’d stammed and that wouldn’t have looked cool on me…hahaha…well i’m not cool either. but i’m quite comfortable. the kids in class refer to me as kak mas, eventhough some of them are the same age of me….haha….i don’t mind it either..i actually like ppl refer to me as kak, sounds ‘manje’..and it kinda give me this sense of responsibility.ok move on now…
i’m exhausted, you should have seen my eye bag…hahaha…not that i mind. i can’t afford to procastinate these days, still i can’t help it.
by the way about gender confusion.
in class this afternoon, dr bern ask( we are learning on phonology, the speech sound ” how would you like to talk to the ladies properly”…she’s asking this to the guys, and i was the only one that answer. LOL. the she ask again would you like to sound like Mr. blah3( this guy with not so sophisticated accent) or would you like to sound like prof. higgins?…. and the loudest voice among them all..yeah you bet….” prof higgins” says Almas proudly. she looked at me and says…”this is for the guys”. am i not one?….lol… confused!!!haha….i like to treat girls nicely, no harm in that……hahaha
second incident on gender confusion:
walk back with Luke after our meeting this evening, i said something like, if it wasn’t b’coz of my gender confusion i wouldn’t have choosen to be single, hahaha. and he said he has this gender confusion as well. we should team up he said, which would be a disaster , i’d refer it to. then he said something like his roomate sends a regard to me, somewhat want to be friends, and so i reply..i can’t, i have this gender confussion…you bet i didn’t expect him to say that..it’s okay he gay. LOL. what a very2 ridicoulus conversation.n why exactly am i saying all this crap?….another way of procastinating…hurm….lets just say it’s been a while.
NOTE: I DO NOT HAVE ANY GENDER CONFUSSION…gimmicks i call it=)
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03.08.09
Posted in Uncategorized at 10:24 am by thedarkvanilla
i have been worried, and i still am. huhu. plenty of assignment to submit, one after the other. if only my time management is more efficient, but it seems like i’m stuck with my old last minute habit. i used to think that, though this habit always made me suffer, it somehow will benefit me. because i assume that by it I know that i can still function even under pressure. i might have been seriously wrong. sign again.
jelouse of seeing one of my housemate who is also my classmate, who is the total opposite of me…I always thought, what is wrong with me. why is it that i always take more time to do my work than other people? i got frastrated. what took other people 2 hour of completing, it took me 4 hours.
I have with me so much weakness, i worry about my study actually. my level of proficiency is still, very weak. I’m ashamed. but what I’m fond of these days, is the people in my class. Because there are small number of us in the class, we tend to be close and it feels like everybody is competing, even the guys, sometime they are more hardworking. sometime we held a study group, to complement each others’ strength and weakness.
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01.27.09
Posted in Poem at 7:43 am by thedarkvanilla
You told me to open my heart, just a little bit let you in,
What if I tell you, that I don’t have a heart to feel?
You told me, I am everything you see,
But what if I really am the one that made you blind?
You told me, we could be soul mate,
What if I tell you that my soul will still be incomplete?
You told me, that we could be together,
What if I tell you together doesn’t even matter.
You told me, we are meant to be,
What if I tell you, that don’t mean a thing to me?
You told me, you can put your trust on me,
But what if I tell you, I’ve given all my trust to someone else?
You said “what else do you want? I’ve given you enough time”,
Which part don’t you understand? You are just not the one.
Don’t tell me anything else now,
And don’t try to convince me how,
I’ve given my heart to the power that knows it all,
The one I put my trust on that always safe me on my fall,
He’ll leads me, to the right person, at the right time,
So subtle but what more can flawlessly rhyme?
Speechless did I leave you? Though with a smile,
On my faith have I told you, well that’s just my style.
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01.16.09
Posted in Religion at 1:12 pm by thedarkvanilla
And so I walked today God,
To see many of your magnificent creation,
And I ponder, wondering of what I’ve done,
So I said, though my shades of act still in gray,
I am only for Allah.
And tears falls down,
In hopelessness and regret,
Then I look to the left, and I look to the right,
These are all your sight,
And I remember saying to myself,
I am only for Allah.
When today seems like yesterday,
And fail have I been to progress,
Trying was the only thing to say,
Nothing seems enough of stress,
I hold to myself this one little fact,
I am only for Allah.
I’ve ask so many questions,
For You have given me a curious mind,
And though sometime it seems so long for me to realized,
For understanding I need time,
You have never failed to answer me,
And Your truth speak to me heavenly,
And with all this disgrace and weakness within me,
Not a question again this time,
I’m making a statement on myself,
I am, I am, for Allah
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01.03.09
Posted in Current Affairs at 8:40 am by thedarkvanilla
There’s more to life than having a boyfriend???!!!!
Weird is it?..the topic, or is it just typical Almas?…hehe…you see a couple of days ago I met my temporary roommate. Well we happen to lightly talk about having a boyfriend and stuff. The girl has been with this guy for quite sometime…more than a year to be exact. I was in “wow”….that a very long time to be in a relationship for me. Then she ask me how long have I been seeing someone, (assuming that I am dating someone) “I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m not interested”, it came to my surprise, or does it just confirm my assumption about silly relationship, she goes “aren’t you bored not having a boyfriend?” I came to a pause for this, having a completely different point of view doesn’t mean I have to prove myself to everyone. So I replied, “I don’t know, just not interested.” I hope I’ll never be in a relationship because of loneliness and to avoid being bored. I search for meaning in everything. Well most of the time, meaning and reasoning is what’s keeps me going. I think being in a relationship would make me bored, the same old stuff all the time. Come on, there’s so much more to life than having a boyfriend. I don’t mean no disrespect, everyone have their right and freedom to choose, and this is the path I chose. I do however believe that even though people have different views, getting along well is most definitely possible, with compromise, with give and take n stuff like that. After all differences is one that makes us unique. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in my crowd all the time; it’ll be great to understand others’ views as well. It is call integrity in individuality, isn’t it? Whatever. But one thing for sure, as for this moment, my life haven’t been bored by not having a boyfriend, i feel the warmth of love from the people around me, and up until now it has been enough.Alhamdulillah.
Kalau kite perhatikan sesuatu dengan lebih mendalam, tak susah untuk kite nampak, setiap nikmat, setiap anugerah dari Allah itu terselit setiap kebesaranNya. Sesungguhnya ujian itu suatu rahmat, dan untuk setiap perjalanan menempuh ujuan2 itu, Allah bersama-same kita untuk membimgbing kita, if only we take the time to not just ask but search, to not just think but try to understand, to do more than look but see, to not just hear but listen, to not just be there but pay attention..theres so much more to learn. Sunahanallah.
” life without meaning is lifeless”
signing out
TheDarkVanilla
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11.29.08
Posted in Poem at 8:34 am by thedarkvanilla
Unrecognized convinience,
Unrealized blessed,
On trouble faces,
that’s when we understand.
On the path of the road to gain,
loses on the sideways stand,
one on top of the other pain,
tomorrow will we have the courage to stand?
tired and barely breathing,
fortunately, there’s still air for gasped,
please tell the the time to stop for a while,
please begged the tears to flow,
please make the heavy weight go,
please make us strong to carry on.
if this is the best,
I’m willing to accept the rest,
this isn’t the end,
but only You understand.
The reasoning for everything,
the need for this pain,
here we are for always, learning,
but only You’d understand.
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11.27.08
Posted in Poem at 8:24 am by thedarkvanilla
Scented by her sweet smell,
Enchanted by her every move,
If I could bent down on my knee,
I would have asked her to marry me.
But what on my power to do so,
I’m so amazed,
When her every word makes me speechless,
How was I to react?
When her entrance freeze the time before me.
I saw her again,
She wears her hair down today,
Sweeter than words could ever describe,
I couldn’t catch a breath,
Afraid of blinking,
As I’m enjoying the world’s greatest view.
Monday morning,
She wears sweet colors which complement her skin tone,
If I tell her, she wouldn’t have accept it even if she knows,
Could her presence ever bore me?
I’m not in denial, so I ask her please.
Thursday night,
The day was getting dark,
But it was bright as she came by,
It’s raining outside,
I’d like to asked her to dance with me,
When she’s in my arms,
I feel like I’m holding with me wonders of the world,
If only she knows what she meant to me.
That night, she took my hand,
She holds me tight,
She’s willing today,
Dancing with me in the rain,
So I, touch her lovely flowing hair,
I breathe in the sweetness of her smell,
I touch her so tender, as if she’s fragile,
I know this is the end,
Today is the dead of lines,
There were no “and they live happily ever after”,
There couldn’t be for us honey,
“It’s the end” I said
“I know”
Smiling now, seeing the subtle future of us,
“We’re ready”.
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11.10.08
Posted in Current Affairs at 12:21 pm by thedarkvanilla
been quite down lately…..if i could freeze the time for a while……maybe i would….but need not be too emotional. my weaknesses are sometimes unbareable for me….it is the question on being a perfectionist?…i don’t think so…however i do believe now that…i truley am my own biggest enemy…hurm….
been quite a shame lately…towards myself n towards Allah…..can’t seem to consistently be…well consistent. but i know God’s loves will never fades…thats the beauty of it……while humane loves just seem to be deserted, timely, and gray…..God’s love will always n forever grow, it can be felt everywhere…all the time…we just have to recognize it……it’s in every breath of air we take. Allhamdulillah….guide me God, though I’ve wrong….your path is the one i search for……hold my heart, and teach me to love You…I’m happy..just by knowing You.
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